You bought what!? The wacky side of online shopping

I originally wrote a much softer version of this blog earlier in the week for a client but it ended up Screen Shot 2015-11-05 at 19.47.52being unused – WASTE NOT WANT NOT THOUGH, I SAY.

You can buy almost anything online. For most of us, we stick to the more ‘normal’ side of things. Technology, online food shopping – or perhaps yet another jumper from eBay to add to your collection (if you’re my mother). However – as most of us know – the Internet knows no bounds and there is a lot of wacky, weird and frankly, creepy shit you can get sent straight to your door. Don’t even get me started on this.

From lucky bamboo trees to vibrators, I asked some people to tell me what the craziest thing they’ve bought online is.

N.B. All stories true, artistic license used in some. Some names are changed to protect the naughty.

“My boyfriend really loves bacon – like, really likes bacon. I thought it would be really funny to buy him bacon related stuff for his birthday because someone who loves bacon that much…right? You get my thinking,” says Lynette, “But it wasn’t funny. We’ve got a bacon t-shirt, soap, lip balm, plasters and even DRINKS. I can’t even bear to smell bacon any more.”

She’s not kidding, check out all of this bacon STUFF.

Maggie*, 26, decided to buy a ‘lucky bamboo plant’ – essentially a plant thought to bring good luck wherever it is grown. Apparently.

“I’d heard about the Feng Shui benefits of having a lucky bamboo plant in your home, so decided to search online for one. My friends think I’m mad but who is attracting the most auspicious chi energy now? Me.”

This. No ragrets.” said anonymous person on my Facebook.

Gemima, 25: “I haven’t bought it yet, but I really want that ballsack rucksack.”

Don’t we all?

And just to lower the tone, here’s one from Melissa*, 22:

“I was looking for vibrators online – no, come on, stay with me – I was looking for vibrators online but couldn’t make my mind up on which one to buy. I got frustrated, closed the window. Within the hour, I got a call from an agent from the website giving me a massive discount on the rubber shlong I was looking at. So now I’m realising it wasn’t from online. It was through a phonecall. I bought a dildo from a stranger over the phone.”

What’s the weirdest or funniest item you’ve ever bought online?


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