How To Accessorise With Jewellery

Photo by Joeyy Lee on Unsplash - white skin tone hands wearing gold jewellery including rings and bracelets

-this post is contributed-

I was never really one for much jewellery, preferring to stick to simple silver studs and a couple of thin silver rings on one hand. However, in more recent years I’ve been making up for lost time and really embracing a new love of rings, bracelets and necklaces. I love how one simple thing can tie together or change an outfit entirely, and I am always blown away by the choices on offer.

If you’re reading this, chances are you already know that the way you dress can make you feel more confident. Your accessories can also play a big part in the way you style your outfits, and the way you feel about what you’re wearing. Jewellery can be hard to get right though – I’ve had a few hard lessons – but there are some ways that you can accessorise with jewellery to enhance your outfit, and not detract from it. 

Here are a few things I’ve learnt along the way…

Keep It To One Statement Piece

This is a classic rule for accessorising. It might seem obvious, but it’s classic because it works. Focusing on just one statement piece is a great way to stop your jewellery from overpowering your wardrobe. It’s always a good way to make sure you don’t need to own a huge amount of jewellery. You can only wear one statement necklace or one pair of statement earrings at a time, so you don’t need to invest in too many different pieces. For example, choose from the 2 carat diamond rings here, or one statement ring. 

Consider Your Skin Tone

If you want to make the most of a jewellery investment, then make sure you’ve considered the ‘canvas’ it will sit on. Is your skin tone warm or cool? White gold looks best against cooler skin tones, whereas olive skin tones are flattered by yellow shades of metal. Silver flatters everyone – probably why I wore it for so long – a safe choice! 

Accessorise For The Occasion

Choose your accessories to suit your plans for the day. If you’re going to be sitting at a desk working for most of the day, then you probably don’t want chunky rings or bracelets that dangle, as they’ll just get in your way and be annoying. I used to wear a heavy Pandora bracelet which would catch on my keyboard so now, I wear a bangle that I can slide further up my arm so it doesn’t.  When you’re heading out, add more statement pieces. I love choosing a nice pair of earrings that can be seen easily, as I think it completes my ‘out out’ look. 

Set Your Own Rules

Do literally whatever you want. Your jewellery, like anything else, is a reflection of your personality. One of my friends favours huge, dangly Pat Butcher style earrings which I’d never be able to carry off, but they suit her so well. Another of my friends wears no jewellery at all except a thin silver chain bracelet and doesn’t even have her ears pierced, but this suits her delicate, simple style. Remember that you don’t have to follow the rules. Use the rules as a base to jump off from, and use them to experiment with your style in any way you like.

Wear whatever you want – and wear your accessories however they bring you joy.

Things That Annoy Me: Not Being Able To Let Things Go

couple holding up a picture frame in the garden

I’ve planned some blog content for the next few months but following a particularly aggressive rant about a lady who tutted at me over the weekend, I’ve added another series: things that annoy me. Trust me, there’s a lot of things.

Some are serious, some are seriously silly – but here’s my space to shout about it and come to terms with those irritating bits of life, without chatting Will’s ear off.

Let’s kick things off with a bang with…not being able to let go of things.

It’s one of the qualities I dislike most about myself because I find it so hard to move past things. Something could have happened years ago: a conversation, an action or incident buried deep in the past and I’ll still muddle over it and consider what could have gone better, what the correct outcome should have been, what I should have said.

Let me give you some context to how far back this goes

We were in primary school (I’m talking year five) and my brother was in year three. There was a massive campaign at the time on road safety for children, and schools brought in reflective teddies for every pupil in the UK to put on their bags. As we lined up to get them, my brother got to the front of the queue and was told by his teacher he couldn’t have one because he had apparently been naughty that day. Oh my god. I’m nearly 30 and I’m still so cross. The INJUSTICE! You’re telling me that EVERY child is entitled to this item that will likely help them be seen and NOT GET RUN OVER, but you want to be petty about it. You, a grown teacher? I think I gave him mine in the end, but I STILL think about how I should have handled it, despite the fact I was a literal child.

More recently, a situation within a close friendship group was mishandled and now, unfortunately is completely out of hand. Other people got involved without knowing the context which made things worse, and now so much time has gone by, it’s unlikely that this rift will ever be fixed. Despite this, yeah you guessed it – I can’t let it go. I move through emotions of anger, frustration and pity before ending up with crippling anxiety on a regular basis.

Why can’t I let things go?

I often ask myself this. Some people seem to breeze through life looking forward and we are often told that we shouldn’t dwell on the past and to stop worrying about things we cannot change.

I read this blog which told me: “Letting go is releasing all doubt, worry, and fear about a situation, person or outcome. It’s releasing anything that disrupts your happiness and no longer serves you on your journey”.

Oh man, I WISH I could. Like literally bye, girl, bye. But they’re still there in my skull, pushed up against all my lovely moments, my future goals and dreams.

I ain’t got room for them all so they need to vacate, sharpish.

I’m hoping that over the coming months, I’ll be able to begin releasing the grip I’ve got on things in my past. I’m starting therapy and am also working with a couple of bangin’ babes on mental wellness. I aim to:

    • Focus on things I can control
    • Differentiate between ruminating and problem-solving (guilty)
    • Create a solid plan to manage my stress
    • Develop healthy techniques and affirmations to manage and control my anxiety

If I’m able to do any ONE of these things, I will be amazed. You know when you’ve lived a certain way for so long you can’t see it changing? I hope I can though. I’m sick of lying awake at night thinking about that one person said to me in 2004, or the way I handled a situation six months ago.

From the blog above: “The present is all we have. We can’t go back and fix the past, and what happens in the future isn’t here yet. We must make an effort everyday to remember that and allow ourselves to open up and enjoy what is unfolding right in front of us: all parts of the journey both easy and hard, good and bad.”

Can you let things go? Let me know how you do it!

The Blog – Eight Years In Review

millennial pink balloons with watermelon

When I started this blog, the Instagram we know today was barely a twinkle in its father’s eye and being an ‘influencer’ wasn’t even a thing. We had celebrities and that was your lot. We kept up with them via red-tops, or if they had a documentary out – I’m looking at you Katie Price.

Ella In The Big City was started on WordPress with an in-built blog theme, of which you could choose from about five and I had great fun with it. I was proud I had my own platform to say what I liked, even if I was talking to nobody – because trust me, no one was reading it. 

Remember, this was back when Twitter had about ten members, one of which was me, all screaming into the void.

Nowadays, whilst I have a lovely audience of my own, my platform is swamped in an oversaturated market. Voices louder, better and more intelligent than my own surpass me and other people with their highly-curated ‘Personal Brand’ and large Instagram followings get book and brand deals.

I am not complaining, dude. It’s just the way of the world. I’m proud that I settled myself in for the ride many moons ago and am not hanging on the coat-tails of those who went before me. I was there before them. 

I hope to still be pissing about with words long into my old age. Did you hear? I’m getting on for 30. 

Although I’m sorry to say, in recent months I have neglected my corner of the internet and have starved it of my own words and thoughts, except for accepting some paid sponsored and contributed content. God, I am such a sell-out! I hate myself for it, I promise I’ll make it up to you.

Saying sorry to your readers or viewers for not posting in a while is something I actually find low-key cringe. Like sis, no one cares that much. No one is scanning your blog and lamenting you, cursing your name to the moon for not posting a shit shopping haul no one asked for.

But I am. Sorry, I mean. 

Life has moved too fast for me over the last few months. My entire psyche and direction I thought I was going in has changed. The headspace of the world slowing down meant that I have been able to grow a seed of self-belief and actually get on with things.

Published freelance journalist? Completed it mate. Joking, it’s a game you can never complete. Pitches are life. I’m in the club now.

I’m making the move to set myself up as a company. I mean, how crazy is that!? A few short years ago I was sitting in one of those sound-proof telephone booths in a co-working space, trying to catch my breath in the midst of a panic attack. Good one Ella, box yourself in whilst you’re feeling boxed-in, that’ll help.

Anyway, the reason I FELT so boxed-in and panicked was because I thought I’d led myself down a certain path and that was IT. I cried every night for about three months solid because that’s just the kind of person I was back then. I didn’t realise holes could be climbed out of.

They can be.

Look, I need to go because I’m tapping away and getting serious Caroline Calloway vibes from what’s coming out of my brain. Am I channeling her? Who knows, maybe. 

I promise I’ll stop being such a sell-out on the blog, write more interesting things; show you some published bits that you can be proud of me for. In return, I ask for nothing but your continued support, your wonderful cheerleading when I’m up and especially when I’m down

I seriously, seriously love my life and that’s not something I ever thought I’d say, especially back then. 

And I love you.

Ex

Mental Health Awareness Week (18th – 24th May 2020)


Well, hello there. For those that don’t know, it’s
Mental Health Awareness Week (May 18th – 24th). I had meant to write and upload this earlier in the week but ironically, I was not in a good place mentally and couldn’t do it. We move.

I don’t want to share any advice or tell people what to do when you’re feeling down – I’m just bloody pleased we are able to have this conversation. The thing is, I didn’t tell anyone for years that I suffer with Chronic Anxiety, Depression and Body Dysmorphia (christ love, want anymore diagnoses!?). Not my friends, not my partner at the time – and I massively played my illness down for anyone that knew. 

I’m better now at sharing, but still don’t shout it from the rooftops – but why don’t I? Surely it would give literally everyone I know a better understanding of how I roll and the reasons behind why I go a bit AWOL sometimes, no?

Yes, it would. But I truly believe, although in recent years talking about our mental health has come on in leaps and bounds, we still need to be better at it.

A good example of this is that sometimes I feel super self-absorbed, and like I’m only ever thinking about myself. Some days I feel so, so anxious that it’s all I can do to get out of bed, force myself to wash, eat.

In those moments, feeling like I’d rather claw my own skin off than spend another second in my body, it’s hard to imagine that anyone else has ever, ever felt this bad in the history of time. How do you even ask the question? Hey buddy, you ever feel so low you want to smash every mirror in your house and eat the shards? This way of thinking was cemented when I was talking to a friend a few days ago who mentioned that she had recently been suffering with bad anxiety and panic attacks. I was gutted for her that she felt so low and we spoke about coping mechanisms and shared experiences. After our conversation, I was like…oh my god…other people are feeling down, too! Don’t make it all about yourself! You’re so inward-facing you can’t even tell when your friends are upset! Ah, the old reliable negative self-talk.

I vocalised this to Will that evening and he put a completely different spin on it for me (like he often does, the lovely soul). You’re not self-absorbed OR selfish, he said, you’ve isolated yourself into thinking it’s just you. It isn’t. Start the conversation and you may find so many others in the same hole as you – try to help each other to dig your way out.

One in four people will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. Unfortunately, mental health services are heavily, heavily over capacity and it can be very difficult to receive the help from counsellors or therapists, unless you have the financial means to pay for it. Often, people are discharged from the service without having received the best care

Personally, I have been on a waiting list for 1:1 specialised therapy for five months, with no indication of how long the wait will be. Of course, we need to acknowledge that NHS mental health professionals are incredible but are having to work in poorly managed conditions with heavy caseloads!

With services so underfunded and overstretched, we need to pull together to help ourselves and each other. Sorry to smash the old cliché down your throat but – it’s okay not to be okay. People ARE there for you and WILL support you, if you allow them in to do so. Here’s another one: check in on your mates. As always, I’m here for all of you, whether you know me personally or not – please reach out to me if you need some help or even just a place to chat.

Love, E x

Why I Came Back To YouTube

pink flatlay muffins coffee cup and pot plant

A long time coming, bruhh.