A New Date

mrs and mrs wedding balloons pink and white

Following on from my blog a couple of weeks ago when the reality of having to postpone the wedding was just creeping into our minds, I wanted to update here that it has officially been pushed back until Saturday 3rd October 2020. 

Whilst we are gutted and heartbroken, especially as we were only in the final few weeks of our countdown, we agreed that this was definitely the best decision to keep everyone safe. It’s really important to us to have a celebration that everyone can enjoy with no concerns – and won’t it be all the sweeter when it happens?

Our suppliers have all been absolutely amazing. I’ve been really blown away by everyone we are working with, as they have all done so well to roll with the punches and ease our worries.

Of course, we still don’t really know what’s going to happen in the coming weeks and months, but we just need to focus on the fact that the wedding IS going to happen at some point, and the fact that it’s not happening on the day we originally chose doesn’t matter. We still have each other (couldn’t think of a better isolation buddy!) and the rest of our lives to make memories.

See our new date announcement video below, created by our fab wedding photographers, The Twigs.

Thanks for all the support! x

The Worst Time For A Wedding

pink gold and white balloons

I said I’d write posts about the lead-up to the wedding – I didn’t say they’d all be positive. The Coronavirus which appears to be taking over the world has now put the wedding in jeopardy. My hen party which was due to happen next weekend abroad is now cancelled / postponed, and whether we can go on our minimoon to NYC is also in question. I’m not ashamed to say that I called Trump a wanker, as he delivered the news about the travel ban in a ridiculous USA cap. Wanker.

The news about the virus appears to be getting worse, and it’s such a turbulent time, with the situation changing every day. I’ve already written a piece on what to do if you are suffering with Coronavirus Anxiety.

I’m feeling very conflicted. I am self-aware enough to know that there are bigger problems in the world – people are dying, losing loved ones, losing business and livelihoods. I would never dream to assume that my situation is worse than theirs.

However, I’m also aware that I am only living my life, my situation. I think I’m entitled to a bit of a moan and if you don’t like it, don’t tell me because I litch don’t want to hear it, and anyway you can’t tell me what to do because you’re not my real dad. 

Loss of control

2020 is the biggest, most special year of my life, and marrying the love of my life is supposed to be the most exciting thing I have ever done. Instead, I’m walking around with a ball of dread in my stomach, worrying about everything going to shite. It’s the not knowing that’s the worst – and not being able to control anything. 

My friends have been amazing – I need to keep reminding myself that the hen party that we’ve looked forward to for months is less cancelled, more postponed. They have come together to arrange something for the weekend anyway, so I still have something to look forward to, which is lovely. Our suppliers have also been supportive, making sure we know that we won’t lose money, and things can be postponed. But I don’t WANT a fucking postponement. I want to marry Will on 23rd May 2020 at 2pm, like we’ve had planned for over a year.

Forgive me if I sound like a self-centred child. I’m very angry, bitter, sad, hurting, grieving and all other manner of negative adjectives. Will, as usual, is being absolutely amazing, being supportive, loving, keeping his head and being his mellow self. I am the reactive one. I am the head-loser. It wouldn’t do to have two of us in the relationship.

Positive thinking

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m super anxious about the wedding as it is. The planning has been stressful for me and ironically, a few weeks ago, everything seemed to be on the up and we were looking forward to the final countdown. Now, I’m more terrified than before. 

The next few weeks are going to need to be a concentrated effort of self-care, self-soothing, practicality and making like Will to not lose my head (any further). I want to say sorry to people in advance if I’m flakey, ratty, or in tears. Yes, there are worse things in the world. But this is the worst thing that has happened to ME.

Fingers crossed, everyone. Here comes the bride. 

The Jones Wedding Update, December 2019 – Wedding Anxiety!

couple smiling black and white

Once again, I find myself marvelling over how quickly time goes by. It’s just insane to me that it’s been nearly an entire year since William proposed to me and we became engaged. When I thought about May 2020 all those months ago, I thought we had so much time in front of us; and here we are with five months to go!

The wedding anxiety has increased tenfold. I am having constant dreams about things going wrong on the day. One last night inspired this post: no one was on time, the makeup artist insisted on doing piles of washing up and wouldn’t start until it was finished. I turned up at the venue hours too late – with my hair in some kind of backcombed rat tail – to find everyone drunk and shouting at each other. Worst of all, Will was nowhere to be found.

Dreams that the stones fall out of my engagement ring happen on a weekly basis. I haven’t Googled what it means because I’m sure it’s some kind of terrible omen.

I DID Google however, wedding anxiety in general. It seems it’s entirely normal.

“It’s your day”

Planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things ever, even if everything goes to plan and everyone is cordial. It’s a huge event and one you will remember for the rest of your life; if that’s not pressure, I don’t know what is.

It’s so simple for people to say, “it’s your day, do what makes you happy”, and “if anything goes wrong, it won’t matter” – it matters to me though! I’ve always had a problem with worrying about what other people think and getting married seems to have exacerbated that rather than eased it.

Will still doesn’t give one shit as usual, I really wish I could take a leaf from his book sometimes.

Here’s what I’ve learned so far on our wedding planning journey.

It’s okay to dislike some parts of planning

Being engaged is incredible and I often still marvel at that fact. Planning a wedding can also too be a joy. However, some parts of planning, especially bits involving other people and negotiating with vendors can be filled with stress and sometimes heartache. I remember feeling so guilty about my wedding anxiety, when things like sorting out the entertainment filled me with dread. Sometimes when a supplier let me down, or I realised something was too expensive, I felt anger and frustration. I thought I should always be this relaxed, serene person. I mean I’m a bride-to-BE for god’s sake. But it’s not realistic. It was much easier when I admitted to myself that I didn’t have to be happy 24/7.

Say yes

Control freak I am, I have got the mother of all spreadsheets for this wedding. With Will’s input, I tried to plan pretty much every aspect of the wedding myself. Again, over time, I realised that I could loosen my grip on certain things, especially bits I am rubbish at, like décor. Not my bag – but Will’s mum and aunt are great at that! Trust, people will be falling over to be involved and help you – choose wisely and it will give you some breathing space.

Don’t be pushed into things

I know I literally just told you to say yes – BUT. Don’t be corralled into having something or doing something that you wouldn’t have chosen. I have been suggested so many things that I have smiled politely about, whilst internally screaming. If you get to the day of your wedding, look around and don’t think of it as ‘yours’, then you may be disappointed.

Set deadlines

Y’all know I love a list! You can print off ‘wedding checklist’ lists from the net, and although they are broken down into months, I found them really overwhelming and hard to cope with. I started making monthly lists with wedding goals and a deadline to be completed by the end of that month. Sometimes they weren’t even big things – one month I had on there to look at some websites with Will for his wedding suit. That way, when the time comes to actually get one, we already know what kind of style and price we’re looking for. Bitesize, easy-to-digest. Winner.

If I have any advice for brides-to-be, it’s honestly just to anticipate your wedding anxiety and learn to let things go if they don’t work out – you’ve got plenty of time. Enjoy!

More wedding bits here.

Essentials You Can’t Do Without When Planning Your Wedding

There are some things you simply need when planning your wedding. A significant other is the main thing! However, there are many more that you may not immediately be aware of when you get engaged.

A great girl crew 

I chose just one of my friends to be my bridesmaid, as we’re having a smaller wedding. However, my other friends have stepped with offers to help and are currently in the stages of planning a huge hen do! 

Your gals aren’t just the people that will be with you on the big day. In fact, they are the ones that can support you all the way through the planning process, as well. From choosing your wedding dress to helping you DIY your decor to save some money. 

Of course, that means you really need to choose your maids wisely. Additionally, being very clear about how much of an involvement you want them to have in the preparation stages right at the beginning, can be a good idea. That way, they won’t be shocked when you ask them to take over some of the wedding or hen do responsibilities. 

Some professional input 

Another thing that you cannot do without when planning a wedding is a little professional help. In fact, you might find that people involved in weddings for a living will have a much better grasp of what you need for your special day. Whether it concerns your flowers, dress, or your photos. 

There are also luxury party planners out there that make it their business to organise weddings too. Our wedding planner has been so helpful and has brought up things to think about that I’d not even considered. In addition, it’s nice to have someone to simply take the pressure off and take the reins; you don’t want to be so frazzled by doing everything yourself that you can enjoy it when it comes around! 

Great communication skills 

Being able to communicate what you need to your loved ones, wedding planner, and vendors is essential when planning a wedding. Unfortunately, not everybody is naturally skilled at communication. Although even if you are more of an introvert, finding a line of communication that works best for you can be very helpful. 

For example, some people do much better over the telephone, while others prefer email. In fact, in this modern world where everyone has a smartphone in their pocket, communicating with those that have a role in your wedding electronically is probably the smartest option. 

I find that writing a good email, whether it’s to my wedding planner or photographers, bullet pointing each concern or area for discussion really helps to make sure everyone is on the same page.

A bit of time out

Sometimes, things can get just that little bit too overwhelming when planning your big day, especially if you have taken on the majority of the responsibility for getting it right. To that end, taking a step back and chilling out with your girls is usually the best approach. 

Trust me, the wedding anxiety can get all too real, sometimes!

In fact, if all the stationery samples are starting to look like the same colour, it’s time to crack open that wedding planning wine and get the girls over.  You can get everything off your chest, and should be as right as rain in no time! 

How To Make The Most Of Your Honeymoon

Couple on a beach at sunset

Source – CC0 Licence

Following the huge effort you put into wedding prep, the honeymoon can seem like an afterthought. It may feel so far away that you don’t even need to worry about it. 

Actually though, I think that the honeymoon is a crucial part of the entire experience. It’s likely going to be the biggest and most special trip you’ll ever go on with your favourite person. 

Whilst that sounds like a lot of pressure to make things perfect, it’s all about ensuring you both have a great time, it doesn’t need to be absolutely planned to the final detail like the wedding. I mean, I love a good list and itinerary, but this is your opportunity to relax after months of planning!

Here’s how to make the most of your honeymoon.

Balance the relaxation with exploration

Some couples like to go traversing mountains on their honeymoon, others want to lounge by the pool. However, you want to ensure there’s a decent balance. When you’re looking to make it something you will remember for the rest of your lives, you might want to document it some way, perhaps by getting a honeymoon photographer, or planning a few events during your honeymoon so that you haven’t wasted it completely by the pool. 

When we were in Thailand last year, we spent weeks exploring and trying to fit in as much as we could. However, we made sure we had a week or two at the end to literally just….be. Nothing planned except lying on the beach, reading books and choosing where to eat for dinner.

With all of the planning that you put in for the big day, you have absolutely earned the right to relax! Just make sure the balance is right.

Pick the right time

Your honeymoon doesn’t have to be right after the wedding. These days, some couples opt to go on a mini-moon which is a shorter trip, perhaps even a weekend away. This means that you can still plan a honeymoon for later on in the year or when your finances are back up to scratch when your wedding invoices are FINALLY paid off. 

In addition, if you have a place in mind for your honeymoon, please do some research and make sure you’re going at the right time of year! There’s no point in planning a huge trip around SE Asia if it’s Monsoon Season. Google is your friend.

Get eating

Not that you need to, but if you’d been dieting and putting in the gym work before the wedding, the honeymoon is an opportunity to let loose a little. Be brave and try all the local delicacies, no matter where you go. Additionally, let your hotel know ahead of time that it’s your honeymoon. You never know, they may upgrade you to a better room or give you a cheeky bottle of champagne. You won’t know if you don’t ask!

Most importantly, make sure that your honeymoon is about you and what makes the two of you happy. Don’t go for a two-week beach holiday to the Maldives if you know you’d prefer hiking up Kilimanjaro! 

We’re in the early stages of planning our honeymoon and have a super long list of destinations we’d like to go to. I think we’re going to be lucky enough to be going on a mini-moon straight after the wedding, and then going on a longer trip later on which gives us some flexibility on where we choose. 

Where are you going for your honeymoon?