I’ve been waxing my bits since 2010. Eight years of visiting various salons every 7 – 8 weeks (I’m blessed / cursed with slow-growing hair). That’s about eight waxes a year – or about 64 since I started. And because of that, truth be told, I consider myself an expert on the subject.

A strong advocate for the manicured front garden, I’ve shared a lot of advice with curious friends over the years. Here it is in all its glory, to help you on your way to achieving a Waxed Wonderland. Sorry. I’m having far too much fun here.

Prep
Rule number one: don’t get waxed the day before that big date, beach day or bikini photoshoot or whatever. You’ll be a red, swollen mess. Get waxed a good couple of days beforehand to allow everything to chill the fuck out.

When choosing where you go to get waxed, do your research and don’t ever choose the cheapest. I’ve seen intimate waxes cost from £15 – £50+ – and you truly get what you pay for. Cheaper ones tend to be less experienced waxers sticking strip wax in any old place and basically ripping your skin off before sending you out into the street basically traumatised. I’ve been seriously bruised and burnt over the years by shit waxers, so I’m asking you to not make the same mistake.

More expensive waxers will use higher quality wax, will use a proper technique including pressing down on the area they’ve just waxed (it’s kind of like rubbing a bruised elbow – don’t know why, but it works). They’ll also use talc to ease the waxing process, and calming oils or sprays afterwards. One time, a premium waxer spent a good 20 minutes down there with a pair of tweezers to truly ensure she’d done her job. Top marks!

In terms of prepping the actual area ahead of time – just be clean and make sure the hair is a good few mm long, for the wax to grip. It doesn’t hurt to exfoliate as well, to help with any ingrown hairs.

Hot wax vs strip wax
You’ll often be given the option between the strip and hot wax. Strip wax is where wax is applied to the area with a bamboo stick, a piece of paper is applied to the wax, and then the whole lot is ripped off. Hot wax is pretty much the same, except it’s usually a higher quality wax, and we skip the paper – the wax is applied and then removed by hand from your body. To make things extra confusing – the strip wax is also hot. All wax should be hot. Whatever.

In terms of advice, if you’re just beginning, I’d say go for hot wax. It’s slightly less painful for some reason, and I find it’s more accurate when removing all those annoying tiny hairs. It is a little more expensive, though – you’ll find lower range salons don’t even do it, so avoid those ones.

The process
If you’re a massive prude, you’ll just have to get over it. It’s truly intimate and there’s no room for embarrassment. You’ll meet the waxer and will be fully exposed within about two minutes. They don’t even buy for a drink for the pleasure.

No but seriously – they literally don’t care.

She’ll probably ask you to lie down with your legs like a frog – you know, like you’re doing some kind of weird backwards breaststroke – and go from there. If it’s a good wax, she should get everywhere -and I mean EVERYWHERE that you haven’t specifically asked that she leave, i.e. if you’re getting a Brazilian.

The first time, you will probably be nervous and yes, it will hurt. It’s over quickly though, and it shouldn’t be unbearable, especially if the waxer is experienced. Rest assured, it will only get easier. I don’t even flinch anymore and regularly phone friends during a session to chat shite.

The whole thing should take about 10-15 minutes, or maybe a little longer if you’ve particularly dark or thick hair.

Aftermath
Unless you’re a waxing veteran, you might be feeling a little delicate. It’ll pass! Just avoid lace knickers and anything, erm, vigorous, for at least 24 hours.

Moisturise
I feel at my absolute sexiest when I’m sleek as a dolphin all over and this is at its optimum after a super good wax. Anywhere you’re removing hair, just slather on the moisturiser for best results. Keep it up, especially for the first few days.

DO NOT SHAVE
The worst part about waxing, for me anyway, is the awkward regrowth period you have to go through before you can get it done again. It’s awful! Patchy, itchy, annoying. I personally find hair there really ugly unless it’s extremely well maintained (as per a fresh wax), so this is doubly annoying. HOWEVER – DO NOT be tempted to shave in between waxes. It’s 100% not worth it. I don’t know the exact science behind this but it’s something about how the hair is stimulated to grow back. I have cracked a few times and shaved, and on going to get a new wax, it hurts just as much as the first time and takes longer. Avoid. The not flinching thing I mentioned earlier? That’s from following my own amazing waxing advice.

Follow the above rules and you’ll be golden. And smooth. Like some kind of golden, shiny, smooth egg.

I had a thought the other day, whilst lying in the chair of doom – if I’ve had that many waxes, at around £25 a go (yes – that’s £1,600 on waxing, I’ve spent), why not get laser treatment and get rid of it for good?

I’ve negotiated a great deal for a package with my waxing lady, and am booked in to do it soon. It’s actually worked out at about the rate of six waxes (£150), and with my lack of growth, hopefully that will be the end of it FOREVER – absolute dream. Just don’t make me think about what I’ll look like at 80 with a Brazilian.

So just bear with, give me a few months and I’ll be sharing another post on what it’s like to have your clunge lasered. Super! You lucky lot.

Welcome to the new-look blog!

I’ve run this blog since 2012 as an outlet for my creativity – especially back when I was selling bratwurst for a living. Since then, it’s grown into something I couldn’t have fathomed when I started it.

It’s opened many doors for me; socially, professionally and commercially and I’m so happy it’s expanded into something that’s (almost) financially viable.

That said, I just felt that the title ‘Ella in the Big City’ no longer reflected the direction of the blog.

I chose to simply refresh the blog as myself: Ella Lucie. Ooh, sounds terribly narcissistic, put like that doesn’t it? Soz.

I spent ages fucking about with colour picker tools, and finally settled on this colour. It’s seriously heading into Millennial Pink territory but I properly rate it.

I wondered about changing the tone of my writing, cutting out the swear words for example. BUT. I absolutely love coming across blogs that are clearly written by people who have a passion for it, and I can lose hours going through previous posts, simply because they make me laugh, or because they have a particularly exciting writing style.

Also, I believe there’s a really fine line to sponsored content. There’s nothing more annoying than a blog filled with nothing but saccharine sweet reviews whilst being practically smashed over the head with affiliate links: nah mate. If I’m lucky enough to be offered a product or experience, I’ll write about it because I like it.

So, because of this, I decided against changing anything about my writing. This blog is mine. If I want to sit down and bash out a sweary, 1,500-word emotionally-charged post, I will.

WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY IS: I’m really thrilled that this platform is heading in the right direction, but I think what’s most important to me is that I’m still writing for the love of it. But, if you want to come along for the expletive-filled journey, you are so welcome. Bring wine.

E x

A few months ago, I wrote about 10 things I learned in the hospitality industry. It wasn’t particularly complimentary. In fact, I included some pretty gross stuff.

A couple of weeks ago though, when scanning a place we were eating in with a critical eye for its waiter service and how long dishes were left on the hot plate before being run (a habit, even four years on, I can’t shake), Will asked me if I ever missed managing a restaurant.

Actually, I do. Oh, I wouldn’t go back. I’ve put my degree to good use and I’m working my way up the dream career ladder, steadily and hungrily. However, on reflection, there were some serious advantages and perks to working in service.

If you ever want to, or perhaps need to start a job in hospitality, here’s what they are:

Rapport with colleagues
I don’t know another job where you can get so frustrated with someone, call each other a c*nt, go outside to have a cigarette to calm down for five minutes, and then come back in and carry on laughing and joking as usual. It’s a stressful role and everyone recognised that. Nothing was personal, everything was about real team work.

I miss finishing a 14-hour shift and not bothering to go home, but sitting together in the empty restaurant and working your way through a pack of shared fags and your allocated staff drinks …heading to a club until 3am and then doing it all over again the next day. Or maybe that’s rose-tinted glasses – we definitely drank far too much!

You know the job inside out and upside down
By the end of my time at the restaurant, I don’t think there’s anything that could have been asked of me that I couldn’t sort out. I had that shit handled. Nowadays, I’m constantly learning on the job – developing new skills and doing new things. Errday. Whilst doing a great job is hugely satisfying, it can sometimes leave the door open to making mistakes.

When you look at it like that, I do sometimes miss the pure confidence I’d have in walking in the door at the restaurant and knowing that I could absolutely handle whatever the day threw at me. HOWEVER – mistakes make us. I’d also got to the point where there was no more to learn – and where’s the fun in that? Now, I love my personal mini fist-pumps when I manage to pull off a calculated risk at work, and the knowledge I’ll have learned something new by the end of the day.

Money
Now do not get it twisted. I love my monthly pay check. It’s stable, reliable and a HELL of a lot more than I was ever earning before. But…there’s just something about that little brown envelope with your weekly wages in it that I found so satisfying. And the tips! The thrill of clearing the table and finding a crisp fiver under the plate – joy. We used to make (what we thought was) a fortune around Christmas too. If you’re good at your job, it pays off – and those tips helped me out no end when I was at uni.

Exercise
I certainly do miss the amount of exercise I got on a daily basis. A 12 hour shift, four or five times a week, walking to and from home …even with food, we were definitely creating a calorie deficit. It’s probably why we never gained any weight from all the booze we were drinking each night!

Sitting at a desk now, I have to be careful with what I eat, and there’s definitely more of a need for ‘proactive’ exercise, i.e. having to actually run my ass off until I’m dead a few times a week.

Not having to shop on the weekend
If you’ve never had the luxury of having a job where your days off are in the week, you don’t get it. Casually sweeping around shops, walking at the pace you like, not having to stop yourself CRACKING PEOPLE ON THE BACK OF THE HEAD FOR WALKING TOO SLOWLY. Switching to a 9-5 and venturing out to do a usual shopping trip on a Saturday afternoon had me thinking I’d made an error in life choice. Thank god for Amazon Prime, eh?

New people, everyday
My job is exciting and creative, I work with some great people and there are always more opportunities to meet fun and interesting individuals, whether that’s a prospect, client, journalist, influencer or colleague. My life is full of a bunch of sick people (my 2017 / 18 resolution, get rid of the arseholes – tick). Pretty much though, all these people are on a level and are fairly normal and friendly – or as normal as you can be, working in consumer PR, where you have to come up with wacky ideas daily.

So, I definitely miss the absolute fascination of meeting the biggest arseholes on the planet. There was nothing more fun for me than to sit and listen to how much of a stupid fucking blonde I was for serving them mushroom with bread dumplings that I asked for that but I am CLEARLY GLUTEN FREE [are you?] AND IT SHOULD BE CLEARLY MARKED ON THE MENU [it is]. I will never cease to be amazed at the lengths people will go to for a couple of pounds off a bill. Absolutely amazing. I wish I could write down all my stupid customer stories. Maybe I will, I’ve bloody got enough.

Maybe the last one is a weird quirk of mine, but working in hospitality isn’t all bad (although a lot of it is pretty fucking bad). I still definitely think it should be a requirement for everyone to have to work in a hospitality environment to understand what it’s like to be on the other side. Might write to the PM to make it part of work experience requirements or something. You might encounter the worst kind of scum (NB: you will), but you’ll also experience the fast-paced fun the job can bring.

Missguided is dangerous. I’ve got the app and the website in my bookmarks page; and with its very generous flash sales, I’m practically keeping the coat hanger market afloat singlehandedly. Our new house came with beautiful, massive fitted wardrobes, and Will better watch out; I’ll be encroaching on his space soon.

With celebrity collaborations including Amber Rose and Jourdan Dunn, the brand also opened its first ever standalone store in Westfield Stratford last year.

Now, Missguided has managed to top the fragrance charts with its debut scent, Babe Power.

The perfume sold out in less than three hours on its release and became the top-selling fragrance in-store. At only £28, it’s much more accessible to those on a budget – it’s a very decent size too.

As reported in The Evening Standard, speaking of the scent’s success, Sanjay Vadera, CEO of The Fragrance Shop, said: “Missguided Babe Power has shot to the top of our best-selling luxury fragrances and is our fastest selling scent at launch.

Considering the success of the fast fashion industry, we knew it would be popular, but we never envisaged the effect it would have on sales.”

“Babe Power gives customers an entrance point to a more accessible luxury and it has been a runaway success. 

Our stores up and down the country have reported customers snapping up the fragrance.”

What I thought
Designed with ‘strength and femininity’ in mind, Babe Power has top notes of grapefruit and sour cherry, a heart of orange blossom and base notes of vanilla, candy floss and amber crystals. 

The scent isn’t exactly subtle! It’s quite strong and sweet and I felt a little overbearing wearing it to work, although it was quite nice to get little whiffs of it all day and know that the perfume was still ‘working’ (does anyone else get that, where you can’t smell it anymore?). However, it was absolutely perfect for a Saturday night out in town – a perfect addition. The packaging is really cool, too – rose gold and in the style of a drinks can. Top marks.

You can find it on the Missguided website, Superdrug and The Fragrance Shop.

Ah, Winter Wonderland. It’s just pure Christmassy joy tucked into a little corner of Hyde Park, isn’t it? Ice skating, the circus, fairground rides and mulled wine – what’s not to love?

Actually, quite a lot. I had the absolute pleasure of managing an on-site restaurant a few years ago. I went to Winter Wonderland almost every day for almost seven weeks. Seven. Weeks.

Whilst some parts were pretty good to be fair, i.e. leaving the site at the end of the evening – most of it was an absolute DRAG. Some of this won’t apply to you if you go once a year for a couple of hours, but seven weeks working 10am-10pm, 6 days a week, earns this place a special place in hell for me. Here’s why.

 

Buggies galore and far too fuckin’ busy, can’t move, also why aren’t the children in bed?
It’s 9:30pm on a Tuesday, surely your spawn won’t be able to wake up in the morning after ingesting all that sugar? Why is your pram the size of France? Why have you stood in the middle of the concourse? WALK ON THE LEFT.

Expensive everything
£8 for a pint? £6.50 for 125ml of wine? Standard, give me 4. Prepare your wallets, the extortion is coming.

No toilets after 9:30pm so you have to go in a bush in Hyde Park when everyone has left
Yeah, probably not one that would apply to you, but might as well when you see some of the queues for those godawful portaloos. Good luck!

The same music over and over and over
Stalls / sellers aren’t really allowed their own music so most of it comes from a live band who sing the same songs, in the same order, night after night after night. It became a game to shout which song would be next. That version of ‘Valerie’ will forever haunt my dreams.

Cold as fuck
And WINDY. I have never been so cold in my life, I swear.

It closes at 10pm and people don’t like that at ALL
I know it’s fun, especially in the Bavarian tent with the live band – but it closes at 10pm. End of. Security starts coming round and will fine sellers should they sell anything after that point. The amount of people screaming at me as I wouldn’t fill up their dumb plastic steins at 10:15am was enough to last a lifetime, ta.

Food is shit
All mass-produced, rubbish – and I’ve seen where it’s stored. Grim!

Drinks are shit
Ditto. That mulled wine you just paid £6.50 for cost €20 to import the barrel. And imagine the mark-up on the powdered hot chocolate!

CASH ONLY – sorry is this 2017 or not?
Littttterrrrally, what? Lines upon lines of people trying to get £10 out of those shite ATMs that charge you £2.50 a transaction. Bring cash or you won’t be able to do anything.

If you don’t go, you’re missing out. So you have to.
And I am. This weekend. I will hate it but the Instas will be sick.