Mental Health Awareness Week (18th – 24th May 2020)


Well, hello there. For those that don’t know, it’s
Mental Health Awareness Week (May 18th – 24th). I had meant to write and upload this earlier in the week but ironically, I was not in a good place mentally and couldn’t do it. We move.

I don’t want to share any advice or tell people what to do when you’re feeling down – I’m just bloody pleased we are able to have this conversation. The thing is, I didn’t tell anyone for years that I suffer with Chronic Anxiety, Depression and Body Dysmorphia (christ love, want anymore diagnoses!?). Not my friends, not my partner at the time – and I massively played my illness down for anyone that knew. 

I’m better now at sharing, but still don’t shout it from the rooftops – but why don’t I? Surely it would give literally everyone I know a better understanding of how I roll and the reasons behind why I go a bit AWOL sometimes, no?

Yes, it would. But I truly believe, although in recent years talking about our mental health has come on in leaps and bounds, we still need to be better at it.

A good example of this is that sometimes I feel super self-absorbed, and like I’m only ever thinking about myself. Some days I feel so, so anxious that it’s all I can do to get out of bed, force myself to wash, eat.

In those moments, feeling like I’d rather claw my own skin off than spend another second in my body, it’s hard to imagine that anyone else has ever, ever felt this bad in the history of time. How do you even ask the question? Hey buddy, you ever feel so low you want to smash every mirror in your house and eat the shards? This way of thinking was cemented when I was talking to a friend a few days ago who mentioned that she had recently been suffering with bad anxiety and panic attacks. I was gutted for her that she felt so low and we spoke about coping mechanisms and shared experiences. After our conversation, I was like…oh my god…other people are feeling down, too! Don’t make it all about yourself! You’re so inward-facing you can’t even tell when your friends are upset! Ah, the old reliable negative self-talk.

I vocalised this to Will that evening and he put a completely different spin on it for me (like he often does, the lovely soul). You’re not self-absorbed OR selfish, he said, you’ve isolated yourself into thinking it’s just you. It isn’t. Start the conversation and you may find so many others in the same hole as you – try to help each other to dig your way out.

One in four people will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. Unfortunately, mental health services are heavily, heavily over capacity and it can be very difficult to receive the help from counsellors or therapists, unless you have the financial means to pay for it. Often, people are discharged from the service without having received the best care

Personally, I have been on a waiting list for 1:1 specialised therapy for five months, with no indication of how long the wait will be. Of course, we need to acknowledge that NHS mental health professionals are incredible but are having to work in poorly managed conditions with heavy caseloads!

With services so underfunded and overstretched, we need to pull together to help ourselves and each other. Sorry to smash the old cliché down your throat but – it’s okay not to be okay. People ARE there for you and WILL support you, if you allow them in to do so. Here’s another one: check in on your mates. As always, I’m here for all of you, whether you know me personally or not – please reach out to me if you need some help or even just a place to chat.

Love, E x

Femme Luxe Haul #6 – Quarantine Loungewear Edition!

-this post is sponsored-

You’ve all seen the meme: if you wear jeans to relax, you’re a psychopath. Tight, constricting – who thought of them as a fashion item? I am seriously dreading the day I have to put jeans back on – the audacity that I’d be expected to wear actual clothes when this is over is astonishing. 

Thankfully, today is not that day. If anything positive has come out of lockdown (which isn’t a lot, let’s be honest), except for the fact we’re now all banana bread connoisseurs, it’s the fact that loungewear has become LIFE. Far from feeling frumpy, fashion brands have gone all out to ensure we feel at the top of our game, whilst also ensuring our post-Deliveroo babies are comfortably cushioned. Undoing a button after lunch? I don’t know her. 

A step away from the usual glamorous items I usually post from Femme Luxe, the brand has come through with some amazingly comfy, lockdown-friendly sets. 

I have to say, they’re a step up from what I began in. A few weeks ago I wore Will’s Avengers PJ bottoms, with fluffy Christmas socks from two years ago. I paired these with the t-shirt Will wore for our first date which I refuse to throw away ‘for nostalgic reasons’, even though the armpits are stained and have holes in. I added a hoodie Will has had since he was 14 and it wasn’t until I caught myself in the mirror that I really began to question my life decisions and get with the loungewear programme.

What are you wearing whilst we’re shielded from other people? If you want any of the sets here, I’ve included the links below.

Enjoy the pictures…I’m literally the worst model ever – so WOODEN – and don’t know how people do this full time! Will had to take thousands of pictures to find ones where I’m not frowning!

White Ribbed Off The Shoulder Crop Top

This one is so comfy! Wearing it with some gym leggings at the moment, but when we’re allowed out and about I think I could team this with a bralet, leather trousers and heels. I’ve been wearing little crop bras from Primark around the house and when I’m working in the garden, and it’s nice to pull this over them when it gets a bit chilly.

Grey Loungewear Tracksuit

I just get SO bloody cold, so it’s great that this set has a higher neck. These are almost a fleecy / microfibre material, and I’ve worn them a couple of times when heading out for my One Walk Per Day with trainers. The joggers are nice on their own, too.


Khaki Ruched Front Long Sleeve Leggings Loungewear Set
A fave. I am usually the person to go for grey, black and camel, so having some khaki in my loungewear collection is a nice change. This set clings to the body and is ruched in the front, so it’s usually one to wear when I’m feeling body confident. I have also done yoga in this set a couple of times as I know it’s not going to ride up.

Grey One Shoulder Crop Top Loungewear Set
This set is just outrageously glam for an at-home set. I sat and worked in this the other day and felt totally boujie. It does look good, but I’m not 100% sold on the one-shoulder. I get too cold, so generally just wear the joggers alone with a warmer jumper on top.

Lockdown has seriously made me appreciate the value of a comfy set. Of course, I hope it’s all over soon and we can get back to normal, but these will stay as my WFH favourites.

Femme Luxe Haul #5

– this post is sponsored-

Earlier this year, I partnered with Femme Luxe again to kit me out in the most glittery, fun and skimpy outfits for me to enjoy on my hen do abroad, which was booked for 20th March 2020. Unfortunately, as you are all aware… COVID-19 had OTHER plans. 

As you know, the wedding, hen and stag dos have all been postponed, and lockdown has left me with a wardrobe full of fabulous clothes, with nowhere to wear them.

I’ll keep them and the dresses will get their day in the sun, perhaps just a little later than I would have anticipated. Obv due to lockdown, I haven’t worn these about, but please see below anyway if you’re looking to bolster your night out kit for when this is all over!

Black Faux Leather Bodycon Mini Dress

Black Faux Leather Bodycon Mini Dress

Up your going out wear this season and score some serious fashion points in the Black Faux Leather Strappy Mini Bodycon Dress. In a luxe faux leather material and a gorj’ bodycon ‘fit, this on trend bodycon dress is amaze teamed with killer heels.

Silver Glitter Thin Strap Bodycon Mini Dress

Silver Glitter Thin Strap Bodycon Mini Dress

Shine bright like a diamond this season and stand out against the crowd in the Silver Glitter Thin Strap Bodycon Mini Dress. Featuring a dazzling glittery design in a bodycon fit, this gorj’ mini dress is an essential for whatever you have planned.

Black Utility Mini Shirt Dress

Black Utility Mini Shirt Dress

I love this one! It’s something I wouldn’t have usually chosen but I love it on – just need to be careful about bending over! Featuring a button up design in an on trend utility style with an all black seatbelt style belt, we’re obsessed with this mini shirt dress. 

Black Glitter Sparkly Ruched Side Mini Dress

Black Glitter Sparkly Ruched Side Mini Dress

This one is seriously booby, but I won’t be able to wear dresses like this forever, so why not now!? It’s got a lovely glittery pattern with an on-trend ruched side, I’m obsessed with this mini dress.

I’ve worn these a few times around the house, wishing I was out on the town but as I say – they will get their time to shine! For now, do await my next fashion installment. It’s a Quarantine Special…loungewear!

A New Date

mrs and mrs wedding balloons pink and white

Following on from my blog a couple of weeks ago when the reality of having to postpone the wedding was just creeping into our minds, I wanted to update here that it has officially been pushed back until Saturday 3rd October 2020. 

Whilst we are gutted and heartbroken, especially as we were only in the final few weeks of our countdown, we agreed that this was definitely the best decision to keep everyone safe. It’s really important to us to have a celebration that everyone can enjoy with no concerns – and won’t it be all the sweeter when it happens?

Our suppliers have all been absolutely amazing. I’ve been really blown away by everyone we are working with, as they have all done so well to roll with the punches and ease our worries.

Of course, we still don’t really know what’s going to happen in the coming weeks and months, but we just need to focus on the fact that the wedding IS going to happen at some point, and the fact that it’s not happening on the day we originally chose doesn’t matter. We still have each other (couldn’t think of a better isolation buddy!) and the rest of our lives to make memories.

See our new date announcement video below, created by our fab wedding photographers, The Twigs.

Thanks for all the support! x

The Worst Time For A Wedding

pink gold and white balloons

I said I’d write posts about the lead-up to the wedding – I didn’t say they’d all be positive. The Coronavirus which appears to be taking over the world has now put the wedding in jeopardy. My hen party which was due to happen next weekend abroad is now cancelled / postponed, and whether we can go on our minimoon to NYC is also in question. I’m not ashamed to say that I called Trump a wanker, as he delivered the news about the travel ban in a ridiculous USA cap. Wanker.

The news about the virus appears to be getting worse, and it’s such a turbulent time, with the situation changing every day. I’ve already written a piece on what to do if you are suffering with Coronavirus Anxiety.

I’m feeling very conflicted. I am self-aware enough to know that there are bigger problems in the world – people are dying, losing loved ones, losing business and livelihoods. I would never dream to assume that my situation is worse than theirs.

However, I’m also aware that I am only living my life, my situation. I think I’m entitled to a bit of a moan and if you don’t like it, don’t tell me because I litch don’t want to hear it, and anyway you can’t tell me what to do because you’re not my real dad. 

Loss of control

2020 is the biggest, most special year of my life, and marrying the love of my life is supposed to be the most exciting thing I have ever done. Instead, I’m walking around with a ball of dread in my stomach, worrying about everything going to shite. It’s the not knowing that’s the worst – and not being able to control anything. 

My friends have been amazing – I need to keep reminding myself that the hen party that we’ve looked forward to for months is less cancelled, more postponed. They have come together to arrange something for the weekend anyway, so I still have something to look forward to, which is lovely. Our suppliers have also been supportive, making sure we know that we won’t lose money, and things can be postponed. But I don’t WANT a fucking postponement. I want to marry Will on 23rd May 2020 at 2pm, like we’ve had planned for over a year.

Forgive me if I sound like a self-centred child. I’m very angry, bitter, sad, hurting, grieving and all other manner of negative adjectives. Will, as usual, is being absolutely amazing, being supportive, loving, keeping his head and being his mellow self. I am the reactive one. I am the head-loser. It wouldn’t do to have two of us in the relationship.

Positive thinking

As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m super anxious about the wedding as it is. The planning has been stressful for me and ironically, a few weeks ago, everything seemed to be on the up and we were looking forward to the final countdown. Now, I’m more terrified than before. 

The next few weeks are going to need to be a concentrated effort of self-care, self-soothing, practicality and making like Will to not lose my head (any further). I want to say sorry to people in advance if I’m flakey, ratty, or in tears. Yes, there are worse things in the world. But this is the worst thing that has happened to ME.

Fingers crossed, everyone. Here comes the bride.